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Saturday, November 26, 2011

HUMOR buat BBM an

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@jamu_komplit, Sobat kadang kita terima broadcast2 lucu dan unik, kali ini mbah jamu pengen sharing broadcast2 yang menurut jamu lucu....
Lumayan juga sobat,buat broadcast balasan untuk temen kita... Yuuu cekidott....

1. Seorang pengendara Vespa (V) sedang asik melenggang di jalan raya, tiba2 ditegur oleh seorang pengendara Harley Davidson (HD) yg nyusul dr arah belakang.
HD : Bro, punya ğak motor kyak gini??!
V : (Diam saja smb melirik sewot)
HD : Oiii.. Bro..!! Punya gak motor kyak gini??!
V : (Msh diam dan tambah sewot)
HD : Punya motor kayak gini gaaak???!!!
V : (dengan kesal nya tak bisa menahan marah lagi) Eh monyet!!! Kalo loe mau ribut, brenti loe sekarang.!!!!! Biar kita selesaikan disini !!!!!
HD : Dari tadi jg gw mau brenti, tp gw ga tau rem nya yg manaa??? Makanya gw tanya loe, PUNYA GAK MOTOR KAYAK GINI?????
GITU åjå MARAHH...!!:p:D

2.S‎​antri Qomar menyembunyikan sepasang sandal Pak Kyai.
Pak Kyai :"Anak-anak,liat sandal abah tidak ?"
Qomar : "Di sembunyiin siti Bah, anak santri putri."
Pak Kyai : "Qomar tolong ambilkan ke sebelah !"
Si Qomar Langsung bergegas menemui siti di aula sebelah.
Qomar :"Aku disuruh Abah nyium km,boleh ga ?"
Siti : "Ga boleh!!."
Qomar (sambiL berteriak) : "Ga boleh Bah. . ."
Pak Kyai (langsung teriak juga) : "Kasih dong siti. . ."
Qomar : "Tuh denger sendiri kan ?"
Si Siti pun memberikan pipi kanannya.
Qomar : "Yang kirinya dong. . . ? !"
Siti : "Ga boleh!!."
Qomar (berteriak lagi ) : "Yang satunya ga boleh Bah. . ."
Pak Kyai : "Kasih semuanya aja dong Siti. . . ! ! !"
Siti : "Nih, sekaLian sama bibirnya biar km ga teriak minta Lagi. . ."
Qomar : "ALHAMDULILLAH Yaah sesuatuu buanget . . . ."

3.Seorang Ambon udah bosen tinggal di Ambon.
Trus pergilah dia ke Jakarta.

Naaahhh…

Pas di Jakarta malem-malem dia jalan-jalan ke Taman  Lawang…

Wah si Ambon kagum banget sama “cewek-cewek” yang lagi mejeng disana ...
dalam hatinya si Ambon mikir “Tak  sangka… Kayak bidadari semua cewek di Jakarta”.
(Dia gak tau cewek-cewek itu bencong semua..!!)

Eh ada satu yang ditaksir si Ambon…
Si Ambon godain tuh “bencong”.

Terus mereka ngobrol ngalor ngidul.
Si Ambon udah ngga bisa nahan nafsunya, akhirnya langsung tawar menawar

Akhirnya, mereka sepakat untuk “main”.
Kata si “bencong” mainnya lewat belakang ya…

Si Ambon mikir, “Wah ternyata cewek Jakarta senang lwt belakang !!

Boleh juga tuh, aku belum pernah coba.

Akhirnya merekapun “main” lewat belakang…

Waktu sudah hampir klimaks, si Ambon gak sabar ..... tangannya meraba-raba ke daerah terlarang si “bencong”
dan si Ambon kaget luar biasa, dia teriak :

“HAEEEE…!!!
BURUNG BETA TEMBUSSSS !!‎​ƗƗɐƗƗɐƗƗɐ "̮ ƗƗɐƗƗɐƗƗɐ "̮"̮ ƗƗɐƗƗɐƗƗɐƗƗɐƗƗɐƗƗɐ"̮‎​​

4.There's a new teacher in a school.

Teacher: "what is the opposite of laughing?"
Student: "Making Love"
Teacher: "What?? why is that?"
Student: "Laughing is ha..ha...ha..., but making love is ah..ah...ah...."

Curiously, the teacher ask another question: "What is the opposite of crying?"
The same student:"making love madam"
Teacher: "Again??? Now will you explain why you keep answering with "that" again??"
Student: "Crying is hu..hu..hu..., but making love is uh..uh..uh..".

Anxiously, the teacher ask another quetion: "what is the opposite of santa claus?"
The same student: "making love madam..."
Teacher: "what a bloody nasty kid... now tell me what your reason is??"
Student: "when santa came up, he always say ho..ho..ho.., but making love is oh..oh..oh..." =D ..=)) =)) =))

5.JUDULNYA CERITA TEU NYAMBUNG :

Kabayan balik gawe, disambut ku senyum mesra si Iteung dipanto :

"Kang, Iteung telat sabulan, urang bakal boga orok", ceuk Iteung ka Kabayan.
"Tapi tong beja2 bisi teu jadi.. Era".

Isukna tukang tagih listrik ngetrok panto. Pas dibuka, tukang tagih pok ngomong,:
"Bu, ibu telat sa bulan"

"Ti mana bapa terang ?", ceuk Iteung.

"Ieu aya na catatan PLN."

"Haaah, maenya nepi ka aya dina catetan PLN?"

Isukna Kabayan ambek2kan ka kantor PLN.

"Kumaha ieu teh, PLN bisa nyaho pamajikan sayah telat sa bulan?" Bari ambek

"Sabar pak, Mun Bapa hoyong catetan eta dihapus bapa tinggal mayar ka kami".

"Mun dewek embung mayar?" Ceuk si Kabayan

"Anu bapa ku kami di putuskeun!", jawab petugas PLN.

"Gelo, nu sayah rek diputuskeun, pamajikan di imah lamun hayang.... make naon ?"

"Nyaa,wayahna we make LILIN ......!!

Segitu dulu ya sob, mudah-2an bisa jadi broadcast balasan buat temen2 sobat yang sering iseng, heheheheh....

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